A Forlorn Hope

The Gods Must Be Crazy

Elysius the 5th

When we last left our heroes, they had just arrived at Lord Parlfrey’s keep. The beleaguered lord gave them the cast of finding lost pilgrims of Silvanus in the marshes of Howler’s Moor. The job seemed simple enough, even if the name was foreboding as the nine hells. However, to complicate the matter, there was a slight…issue. It would seem that a band of orcs was tracking the party, and had staked outside of Parlfrey Keep, ready to strike should they decide to leave. The garrison in the keep was less than impressive, as they had enough soldiers as to “protect the keep in times of peace” as Tyllas put it. Our heroic crows decide that instead of just waiting them out, they will ambush the ambushers. The plans seemed foolproof right? Well at least they weren’t going to split the party this time.

The summer was in full swing, and the heat made wearing armor quite uncomfortable. Luckily and unluckily, a storm was brewing to the north, the brontide heralding its imminence. But the good thing about rain in the summer is it keeps the heat at bay, the bad thing about it is that it makes person extremely easy to track. If this ambush did not succeed, there would be no escape…

To keep the land as advantageous to them as possible, the Crows decided to travel due north alongside the Half-Cut hills instead of trekking through the thick mud and water muck of Howler’s Moor. They found a piece of land to their liking, and made camp for the night on a hill top. Their plan was to hide outside of the camp and let the orcs attack an empty camp, and then while distracted, they would fall upon them like carrion birds upon a heap of dead orcs. A small hitch in the plan however, as Alesanro’methelyoctoviana and his faithful (although not to him) mamluk Muhammad A-Gal decide to sleep IN THE CAMP! I suppose it gives to the versimilitude of the illusion they were trying to create. At any rate, Al and A-Gal decide to sleep in the camp, while the rest of the party stays to the outisde, out of the firelight. A sleepless watch begins. And the night passes, but nothing shows up to attack them.

Elysius the 6th

As the sky begins to grey with the tale-tell signs of dawn, arrows go wizzing by. Al and his mam-luk wake up the a somewhat nasty surprise. Well, I dunno, would you call multiple arrows suddenly impaling you a nasty way to wake up? A band of orcs, about 11 strong comes charging up the hill, screaming, howling, and stamping their feet. They suspect no trap, and are simply rushing foward to slaughter everyone in the camp, and to stomp their bones into dust. In this made rush up the hill, one of them runs into Bellamin as he is hiding in the bushes, but the others are so busy with their violent squawking that the others don’t notice. He fights with the orc for some time.

Just as the orcs break into the camp, Shea fells three of them with a well placed sleep spell, just as Darella entangles the rest of them in a sudden sea of writhing roots and grabbing grasses. The party begins to kill the orcs one at a time as they slowly escape from the fighting foliage. Unfortunately, orcs don’t like elves, and those who make it out of the weeds attack the elves will full murderous intent. “Orcs are known to take prisoners,” Bib the lord of evil, DM of the campaign declared, “just not elven ones.” Indeed, our heroes very nearly lost all three of their elven companions that day. With some fierce combat and some damn good rolls, the party was successful in the ambush. They also found a few silver plated swords and a magical shield, strange things for orcs to have…

We move to march into the marsh, Bellamin scouting in the front, and Eddy scouting in the rear, at least for a while. On the first day into the marsh he gets scared by something in the mist, and does what a good scout does, and runs up the main part of the party to let them know, and stays there. At any rate, they find a place to make camp, and spend a somewhat unrestful night. Of course, they also discover that they have become soft in the bountiful land of Haranshire, and they did not pack enough food for an expedition. They decide upon half rations and set a time limit for the search before they must return to get more provisions. 2 days of searching, and then they must leave.

Elysius the 7th

In the morning, Al finds a decayed human hand holding onto his shield that wasn’t there the night before. Things are starting to get pretty nasty in the marsh as they walk into progressively worse and worse bogs. The solid footing that they had when they walked in was long gone, and they were suddenly finding that it was simply to nasty, and too difficult to keep walking. At one point, they found themselves nearly completely mired in the marsh, and some of the party had to be rescued. Last of all was Al, who couldn’t much swim, and who was holding onto a massive tower shield, which didn’t help matters any. As he was trying to get out, TA-DA! A gift from the marsh! 6 bog zombies spring from the water and attack the party. Bellamin rescues Al from the bog as the rest of the party tries to fight off the zombies. Now the cleric in the party doesn’t have a holy symbol on him, so he can’t turn undead, so its time for hard fighting. Well, things don’t go well for the Crows, and its looking like this in the end. Al is nearly dead, and others are getting injured more and more as the bog zombies tear at their flesh. Suddenly, as though a spirit possesses him, Al reaches over, fast as a viper, and takes Shea’s dagger from her belt and with skill that mortals just don’t possess, carves a perfect symbol of Mielikki into his forehead. As he passes out, there is a flash of light from his wound and the zombies turn in terror and vanish into the murky waters. The party, was saved.

Moving on they come across a group of men lying in the mud. One of them is in process of dying when they arrive, and he explains with rasping voice and gasping breath that “The man with the red hair took them, he looked alive, his eyes, his eyes….” and he said no more as he shed off that mortal coil. As the party is taking in what they have just witnessed, snarls and barks are head in the distance, savage and evil. Tantra, Darella’s wolf, explains to her that something very evil is coming. The party prepares for another fight.

A Total of 8 demon two-headed death dogs coming charging at them, and the party beings to attack them with arrows and sling bullets. Those who cannot fight at range form a wall to intercept the beasts. Shea manages to enchant three of them to sleep, and Darella entangles the other five with her spells. Before a single blade must be swung, the last of the beasts is felled by Bellamin’s sling. The fight, which promised to end the adventure of the Crows, ended itself without so much as a drop of sweat. They kill the last three as they sleep, and gather the bodies of the fallen men and depart. They return to Parlfrey keep to give the word to the lord about what happened, to gather supplies, and to make sure the men are properly burried. They also do the trading and selling of their loot.

Join us next time, when the Crows continue their quest to find Jelleneth, to find the pilgrims of Silvanus, and to figure out what the hell is going on. STAY TUNED!

What could possibly go wrong? Oh yeah, EVERYTHING~!


Elysius 1

After saving the town of Harlaton from certain watery marshy deathy doom, the Crows return to the Baron of Mutton to regroup and turn their attention once again to the task at hand, the task that’s been at hand since they first set foot on Milborn soil; Find Jelleneth. With all the excitement and adventure going on, it was very easy to forget, but the crows still have a job to do, the poor woman’s plight cannot be doing anything but worsening.

How do they plan on finding the poor girl you may be asking yourself? The answer is so simple its a really, really bad idea. They are going to do the best thing any party can do, and split up into two groups. Darella, tailed by Tantra and Bellamin, is going to walk along the road in a hot little get up to try and get herself captured, hoping that this will lead them to whoever napped Jelleneth. The rest of the crows are going to publicly take a job guarding a trade barge owned by Master Parafin. While the pay is good, they take the job for the ruse it would provide. Darella explains the plan to Tantra, who comments and reiterates, this is a bad plan. If only they had known how bad.

Before departing, the Crows spend the night in the tavern, where Eddie learns a valuable lesson about fidelity. For while he is smootching with a farm lass on his lap, Darella (his love interest) walks in and see this. He immediately kicks the girl off of him, who nearly insights a bar fight by taking a patrons drink and dowsing Eddies fickle loins with it. Darella congratulates the girl, then finds herself a big, strong farm boy named Jeremy, and well….makes his night, and fills Eddie with great ire. In the morning, for some reason Alesanromethelyoctoviana decides to scare the poor boy away with a threat on his life and a alarming “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”. The young farm boy flees, and with good reason. You can’t kill crazy like that with a +5 vorpal longsword of FLAMES.

After a day of watching the barge, the crows dock on the southern bank and make camp. In the early morning, before most of them are awake, the camp is attacked by a group of archers, and a very pesky cleric. Eddie Woodcrest was on watch duty, and he finds suddenly that he has been hit by two arrows WOMP WOMP! and he hears many a THWANG! as the archers unleash a hail of arrows into the sleeping circle just in time to see the Mamluk Muhammad taken down by a furry of fletched bow-pikes (poetic license). “WE’VE UNDER ATTACK!” He cries and then charges off into the distance, away from the battle, in typical rogue fashion.

Springing to the life, the diminished party has to make some seriously dangerous and critical decisions. This is the hairiest fight they have ever been in. Shea starts off the battle by putting some of the men into a magical sleep, but a voice crying from the darkness dispells it. (See, pesky high level cleric) Tyllas springs to his feet, disregarding armor, grabbing his sword Shard and charges directly into the fray, nigh nude and narrowly navigating these nightly nere-do-wells. With all swiftness, Tyllas asserts himself as a serious foe by hacking one of their number into pieces. This sudden distraction gives the others a change to act. Shea fires a magical missle into one of the men just as the cleric knocks Tyllas out with a word. (PESKY cleric) Al does his goodly clerical duties and heals his mamluk. The strangest part is that the men seem to be trying to kill everyone except for Shea, whom they seem intent upon capturing.

As the minions fall one by one, the cleric finally casts a spell, and flies away on great wings that appear around him. No I’m not joking, the bastard sprouts wings and f@#$ing flies away. Can you say out of their league? However, they did get one man, and alive at that. Tyllas interrogates the man, who will not speak, and eventually busts his kneecap to try and get a response. What he gets is screams of pain. They take the man to the barge and continue to interrogate him down the river, nothing. Finally the man seems to wake from a dream. He doesn’t know who he is, where he is from, what he was doing, or what’s going on. All he knows is that his knee is killing him. Al heals his knee and they drop the man off at Tauster’s who may be able to help him, before heading up to the Parlfray Keep with Master Parafin and his load of goods. In the meanwhile, Darella and Bellamin, Tantra in tow, are double marching their way back to Thurmaster to meet up with them. When they arrive they find that they need to continue up to Parlfray Keep.

Elysius 3

Lord Saniór Parlfray greets them, but quickly shows his disdain of adventurers. His son, on the other hand, seems enchanted by them. Tyllas asks Lord Parlfray about the state of the roads, telling him that they have grown dangerous of late near the Thornwood. The lord’s face goes white, and he dismisses himself. His son on the other hand, tells them that he knows what they are looking for, and where to find it. All they have to do is let him come along. Wisely, the Crows refuse to do so. Young Laintur, son of lord Parlfray leaves in a huff.

The next morning, Darella and Bellamin arrive, and convince Laintur to tell the party what he knows for the good of the realm. They learn an odd tale.

_Lord Elmond Parlfray, father of Saniór, grandfather to Laintur, evacuated his house from the old Parlfray Keep deep in the Thornwood when strange things began to happen. All the servants were dead and there was no sign of a struggle. The local orcs and goblins became less of a nuisance, as though something was taking care of them. An uneasy peace that boded ill for the land. _

The Crows learn of Broken Spire Keep, but are they bold enough to attempt its snares? Not yet at least, for lord Parlfray hires the Crows to find the missing pilgrims of Silvanus in the Howling Moor. What adventures await? What dangers lurk? What evil force is behind Broken Spire Keep? Why did this nararator neglect to mention that Shea got magical weapons, Tyllas’s sword is magical, and our cleric has been carrying around a tower shield for the entire game and no one noticed it, even when they used it as a gurney to carry the wounded?

Stay tuned…

Hey, sorry for killing your young, have a steak. Oh by the way, could you like....move? You're causing trouble

FlameRule 14th

The job was simple; scout around the new mire looking for the cause of its mysterious and magical expansion. The crows set out along the north-eastern edge of the marsh, walking the divide between thick hungry swamp mud, and the craggy hillsides of the Patchwork Hills. Whilst making camp by a small stream, Al was given some supernatural aide from his goddess Mielikki, who showed him the entrance to a small cave up in the hills. The party decides to check this cave out, but at the council of Bellamin Alert-eyes, they decide it would be wisest to wait and see if anything _ comes out_. And come it something does, a goblin, who came out to snatch up some food and get something to drink. They follow him around but don’t attack, and he returns to his cave. The party decides to ambush the goblin, or goblins that come out of the cave next time.

In a display of high-fantasy-epic-heroic-ramboescent violence, our brave heroes take down 3 golbins and one goblin child while the poor sods were bathing and or swimming in the pool by a small waterfall. Bellamin takes out three with assassin like skills, and Tyllas bravely and oh so boldly rends a small goblinling in twain. Al takes the other goblin child hostage, and as Bellamin turns on the last adult goblin, the terrified thing screams for his life, throws down his weapon, and stands there shaking with fear. That is, until Bellamin kicks the wimpering wretch to the ground.

The crows learn that these goblins are peaceful creatures, trying to live in solitude and peace, not causing the humans any harm, not troubling anyone. The crows decide to speak to the goblins and even appologize for slaughtering their young and old alike. They meet with Grundelkek and Barukliet, the leaders of the goblin party. Arranging a dinner of peace, they part ways. The meal goes well, and they learn that Barukliet is revered by the goblins because he recieved this magical ring, a gift from their god Magubbliet, who made the goblin race to rule the world and made all the other gods jealous. (That’s their story and they are sticking to it) After talking to Barukliet in private they learn that at the same time that the goblins moved in to this area, the mire started spreading. It was the ring that Barukliet carried that was causing all the trouble, and so the crows, with successful spokeshalf-elven-woman Darella, convinced the goblins to relocate before humans come to slaughter them.

As the goblins depart, the mire begins to dry up, so the crows return to Darius to inform him that they not only found the source, but fixed the problem with the mire. He is amazed and delighted with them, and the crows get a hefty sum of gold for their troubles. They all are pretty much broke by morning, spending all this new booty on training. Being amazing has its price it would seem. So they return to the Baron of Mutton, the local tavern at Millborn, and celebrate a bit. They also meet an old grizzled dwarf by the name of The ol’ Grizzler who offers training to any warriors among them.

The town loves them, the lords of the land are thrilled with them. Things are really looking up for the crows, but there still is the task of finding Jelleneth. A good way to start is to look into those abductions that are happening, mostly to young girls, along the roadways by the forest. Staging an abduction would be the best way to do it, but who is gonna be the bait…..

Stay tuned…

Hurry! The Cuiper the better!

Kythorn 29 – Flamerule 10

The crows decide to settle into Thurmaster, finding a house on the outskirts of town that has been abandoned for quite some time. They decide to put some money into the building, fixing it up as their abode and base of operations. They put in a garden and a small pen for some livestock. They also hired a kind widow by the name of Mrs. Swinsen to take care of the place. Thus the crows got their very own homestead, “The Crows Nest”. Once they had taken care of matters related to room and board and the like, they decided it was time to go in search of Jelleneth, as Tauster had requested of them. They looked for her in the RedWood, but she was not there. They went down to Hogsbrook in the Thornwood near the Blessedwood, but she wasn’t there either. While in Hogsbrook they delivered a message to Cuiper (Kwiper), a ranger of considerable skill. He gives them a message to take to Garyld in Millborn to give him news of Jelleneth’s disappearance. About that time, Olianne, the wolf toting druid that the people have been talking about, appears. She tells the party that a boy has become a werebear and that they need to help him by calming him down. This means taking on a savage, angry, wild, and nasty werebear without the use of deadly force. Needless to say, the party is a little bit apprehensive about the matter. Thankfully, due to Darella’s skill with the entanglement spell, the werebear-boy is captured easily, and with some magic sleep and a potion or two, the creature is calmed down. In exchange for her help, Darella is given training with the druid, free of charge.

So then its off to Millborn to give the message to Garyld, who in turn sends a message by way of bird to a mysterious person named Shiraz. While there, Tyllas and Darella go to the local blacksmith, a large barrelchested man by the name of Semerem. Darella purchases chain-barding for her wolf Tantra, and Tyllas attempts to get the name to make a belt out of his disgusting months old knoll spine. The man refuses in disgust until Darella begins to explain to him that Tyllas ripped this spine out of an enemy of his in a violent blood-rage. Not only was the belt now top priority for the poor shaken blacksmith, but the price was based purely on goodwill donation. Heading back to Thurmaster, the crows get hired to guard a trade barge to Thurmaster, and of course back to Millborn. In Thurmaster, they speak once more to Tauster, giving him news and asking him about teleportation spells that he can’t bestow, and asking about troublesome adventures that he would refuse to take. The conversation ends when Tyllas asks if the wizard could scry someone for them. Upon hearing the word scry, Tauster frightenedly declares that he needs tea and slams the door.

Once they return to Millborn they find themselves in an auction for some farm equipment due to the New Mire flooding out a family’s farm. While in the auction, a man walks up to the Crows and aks if they are in fact, the crows. Upon learning that they are indeed the Crows, he enjoins them to follow him to the manor of his lord, Master Darius Carmen. Half of the party lead by Shea goes to meet with Darius, and the others stay behind to finish up the auction. Darius offers the crows the job of scouting the New Mire and the Patchwork Hills for two weeks time, and if they solve the problem of why the New Marsh is spreading, he will pay them 1,000 gold pieces, on top of the contract he has already offered them. All Darius can tell them is what he paid dearly to learn; “Its bad, and its magic”. Armed this information, the crows take the job, but not before Shea asks Darius if he knows anything about the missing girl, Jelleneth. He answers that he “doesn’t know much”, and she decides that it means that he must know something, so she grills him for information on the missing girl. After a heated conversation, Shea decides that he actually knows nothing at all about this girl. So they head back to Thurmaster upon a barg with a heaping load of recently acquired home accouterments.

As the DM chuckles...

And so, our heroes, the crows, make their way towards Thurmaster in Haranshire. First, though, they need to make it to Millborn, a small town just south of the coast. So they take to the road Millborn-bound. Along the way, they encounter some farmers walking in the opposite direction. As they pass, a hail of arrows assults them from the forest. As the party withdraws and prepares for battle, the farmers turn on them! These are no farmers, but bandits in disguise! The party, broken apart in the unfolding chaos, tries their best to reform into some sort of order and fight this battle, however, things go poorly. The cleric got run through with a pitch fork, and the spell-sword got run through with a sword. With two of the party down, the rest worked frantically to save them. Darella’s entanglement spell saved Al’s life, and kept some of the attackers at bay. Tantra, her wolf, dealt quite a bit of damage to the unlucky sod who was not caught. The party’s scout, Bellamin did his usual attack from the shadows and saved Shea’s life, while at the same time running the last of the woodland attackers away from the battle. Eddie, oh eddie. Eddie Woodcrest preforms the most daring of acrobatic maneuvers, running from a tree limb, leaping off, somersaulting, and landing behind one of the entangled men. The man throws down his weapon and surrenders, and Eddie slides in the knife, killing him. As the body falls, Eddie goes to loot it, but find himself grabbed by the entangling vines and is stuck. Nichademus Nim, the newest member of the crows, casts the spell of burning hands to destroy another enemy stuck in the entanglement. He also lights the vines on fire, and Eddie is suddenly immolated and unable to save himself. It is with great reluctance and sense of duty that Tyllas drags Eddie from the flames. The party travels to Millborn to recieve healing from the local temple of Torm. After healing up for a bit, the party heads to Thurmaster, and the journey’s end. While in Millborn they meet an old innkeeper named Durcaster. Through him and “HEY ANDREN!” they learn that a girl named Jellaneth is missing, and she is also curiously enough a student of Tauster, the very wizard they are going to see. They agree to try to find her as they set out for Thurmaster.

That night in the camp, they have a visitor. A magical Efreeti from the plane of fire. He informs Al that in 1,001 days, he and his "Bosom companions’ must appear before the Grand Khalif in the city of Brass to face judgement for his crime of stealing the medallion of the planes. He leaves Al with a servant by the name of Muhammad A-Gal, and vanishes. Shaken by this encounter, Eddie runs away from the Djin, and falls into the river, if not for Bellamin saving his life, he would have drown. At last they reach thurmaster, and they go to the wizard, who greets them, and thanks them for their hard work, and gives them directions for how to be paid for the work. They go to collect their money, only to find that they will get it…in time. 20-30 gold per week per person for the next several months. The party is disgusted and aggrivated, and the DM laughs and laughs and laughs. He had been planning that little surprise since Suzail.

Just Leave the Negotiations to Me!

From Tilverton the Crows set out through the Thunder Peaks. From there into the Dale Lands, blanketed with their thick forests and ancient ruins wherein even to this day treasure, and danger, awaits those bold enough to seek it. Through mist and rain they travelled on until they came at last to Ashabenford. It was there that Tyllas took training from Meric, a skilled fighter who saw something special in Tyllas, and trained him for a discounted price, but requires yet of him a favor in the realm of deeds most heroic. Darella’s new friend, Tantra, has made it somewhat difficult to travel into cities, as most people don’t want to accept the company of a wild vicious timber wolf into their town. Eddie takes his silver to a fence, but decides to hold on to it in order to get a better price elsewhere. After a brief layover, they set out again. While on the road to Hillsfar, Alesanro’methelyoctoviana tells the party the truth of his past. The party is less than pleased to learn that their travelling cohort has earned the ire of a whole legion of Efreeti, but at that time no one really takes it all that seriously. It was also along the way to Hillsfar that Darella mastered her entanglement shelter, gaining the ability to create a small camp at will, with individual huts for each member of the crows. Truly it was a much more comfortable way to travel. At last they exit the forest, and march down the open fields to the gates of Hillsfar, the port city that would see them to Milborne in Haranshire.

As it turns out, the folks of Hillsfar are not that friendly, even if the party didn’t have a wolf in tow. The guard demands to know if they are Zantarim spies. No matter how the party pleas in this regard, the guard does not listen. But thank the gods, Eddie Woodcrest decides to be the spokesman for the troupe. Using politeness and reason he speaks with the guar….oh who am I kidding, his bad attitude and lack of aptitude in speaking with anyone in non-combative terms leads the guard at the gate to signal archers and a quick fight breaks out between the crows and the Hillsfar guard. The party with draws and heads back to the woods, most of them none to pleased with the way things went. Bellamin Alert-Eyes goes alone the next day to try to gain entry into the city. This new guard is a little nicer than the last one, but not by much. Still, with a little gold to grease the gears, he agrees to let them into the city, and even to not turn them in so that they may be hung on stakes along the walls. Once inside, the party waits while Eddie goes to meet a contact in the city that Charlie suggested to him for training. Two actually; Spite and Malice. Down into the cities depths goes Eddie, lead by a shady fella until he is brought before a voluptuous woman. She is somewhat appalled that all he came for was to fence wares, as she is rather high up in the guild called “The Unseen Hand”, and not some petty runner. She will not trade with him unless he joins her guild. He agrees, and she sells him the silver for a good deal of money. Then she approaches Eddie, and tells him to strip down to the waist because as his new guild master, she wants to see him shirtless. He acquiesces and even flexes for her as much as a 15 year old can. She walks up to him and carresses him, and draws his arms up, leaning in close until their lips nearly touch. She asks him if he knows how to kiss, and before the people at the table can deicde if this shit is too raw for them, or if this is the kind of game they want to take part in… CLANG CLANG! The woman locks Eddies arms into manacles, and a man walks in with a glowing hot brand. The table breathes a collective sigh of relief as Eddie is kissed by the searing hot iron. “Welcome to the Unseen Hand, make sure it stays unseen.” he is told, and sent on his way, with instructions on where to find someone in Haranshire to train him. The silver had its own price, and Eddie paid for it, and with this, the crows fly by sea from Hillsfar to Milborne in Haranshire on the Sea Spraite, not be confused with the Sea Sprite that hunts pirates on the Sword Coast. Adventure abounds in Haranshire, stay tuned as the crows near their destination, drawing ever nearer to the wizard Tauster in Thurmaster.

The shittiest of jobs, the damndest of luck part 2

…Up up up through that grimy chute of poop he went. At one point, he got stuck, and that was nearly the end of Eddie Woodcrest. Choked on poop is certainly not the way he would have elected to go out of this world, but that was almost his fate. In fact, had he not somehow been able to kick off his boots, catch them with one foot, dig in his toes and push himself up just high enough to grab the ledge of the toilet hole, he would have drowned in the slimy result of other people’s diet. Once inside, he moves about the place like swamp thing, but you know, instead of algae and mud, its excrement and….more excrement. The guards are keen eared in this house, but seem to lack olfactory sensation as they can’t seem to smell the walking poop-thing meandering about the house. Eddie’s best friends with luck, and some suspect foul play, even bribes, for he climbs up a wall and hides in the ceiling as the guards pass. Amazingly they neither see him, nor the brown trail leading up to his hiding place, nor smell him, though it is likely as they pass they were bereaved of eyebrows. But eventually they hear him and give chase. Eddie flees for his life down into the depths of the manor, dodging traps and preforming daring diving feats of agility as would befit an action movie. He nearly meets his sticky end as the wall in front of him launches forward, a trap to crush would-be thieves. Behind that wall were poisoned spikes, and Eddie somersaults through them to safety. At last, he comes to a locked door, and the sound of the guards getting closer though slowed as they reset the wall trap. Eddie tries to pick the lock, but adrenaline makes his hands too shaky, and he finally gives up and forces the door open. Once inside he is greeted with a massive room of treasure, with strange magically lit faces on the walls, and a pedestal with a strange egg on a soft pillow in the middle. Eddie leaps into the pedestal nimbly, and removes the egg. Hissing sounds ensue. Thick, acrid, blue smoke begins to rise from the floor. Eddie grabs as much silver as he can carry (turns out to be a bag of silverware) and stands on top of the pedestal, as the blue smoke rises to consume him. He hears the guards outside the door, “Whoever it is, they’re dead now, CAREFUL! don’t let that stuff touch you. There may be some bones later, let’s go” Eddie’s fate was sealed. Or was it? With no where to go, he pulls out a ring and POOF!

Charlie is surprised to see Eddie Woodcrest standing in his room, with a bag of silver in one hand, a griffin egg in the other, covered head to toe in filth. “Well DONE Eddie Woodcrest!” He exclaims, and promptly gets Eddie bathed and perfumed and cleaned up. Eddie returns to the party smelling of a very expensive bath, carrying a bulging bag of silver, and wearing a grin as wide as Faerun itself. At the gates of Tilverton, Darella gets her wolf, whom she names Tantra. And so the crows go northbound to the city of Ashabenford and then to Hillsfar. Stay tuned.

The shittiest of jobs, the damndest of luck part 1

So the crows find themselves in Tilverton. A small town on the edge of the dalelands and the last place to fly the Cormyrian flag. Most of the party is content to rest in town for a reprieve after the difficult journey through gnoll pass and the stonelands. Of the party, two have some serious goals. Eddie wants to contact his guild in order to make himself a bit wealthier. Darella just wants a wolf. Yeah, a live, vicious, gods damned timberwolf. Eddie assures her that he can make it happen. Once at the giild’s hideout, Eddie is introduced to “Charlie”, the head of the guild in Tilverton. Charlie tells Eddie that the wolf is no problem if he will do a small favor for the guild. What does that entail? Oh, not a whole lot. Just bereave a very wealthy merchant of his silver. A wagon load to be sure exact. To do this Eddie must convince his party to help him. This goes over well, like an anchor floats on water really. Since the party refuses to help him, Eddie goes back to Charlie, who tells him the game has changed. All he has to.do is steal some silver and a rare and wondrous egg from the rich man’s innermost vault. Eddie agrees, not knowing that Charlie doesn’t expect him to live.

The gates are locked so Eddie takes to the sewers. He crawls up the pipe under one of the latrines and makes his way slowly up the disgusting rancorous poop chute…

end of part 1

Interrogations Shminterogations, Just hit 'em with a pole!

In the stoney stone lands, our intrepid crows march on through the barren land. Little happens to them and they safely reach Tilverton. But not before encountering a screaming ogre, who is begging for his life “Save me and I’ll be your servant forever!!!1” only to be destroyed by a….goblin with a stick. With a swloosh of magical energy, the ogre is “no more”. The party faces down the dreaded goblin foe, who promptly demands valuables from the party, and just before anything daring bold and incredibly stupid happens, Shea puts the goblin to sleep.. thud down he goes. After binding the goblin tighly in ropes and taking away his stick, the party entrusts the task of interrogating the goblin to the one person in their party who is capable of speaking goblinese; Alesanro’methelyoctoviana. Yes, that’s right, the bat-shit crazy elven cleric who tried to feed the party rocks for food. What a good decision. He did a lot of yelling at the goblin and threatening his life, then resorted to beating the poor creature nearly to death with his quarterstaff. This happened several times. In fact, had it not been for Tyllas trying to keep the thing civil, Al would have bonked the goblin down through all nine of the hells. “WHAT WERE YOU EXACTLY DOING TODAY IN EXACTLY PRECISE ORDER!” Al demanded, to which the goblin replied, “I’ll do it in reverse order; first I was drug across the ground by a lunatic, then I was yelled at whilst gagged by a lunatic, then I was thumped on the head with a stupid stick by a damned LUNATIC!” This was met with the sound decision of Al to suggest that they “CUT OFF HIS NOSE!”. In the end, Tyllas took the goblin outside of camp on his watch and slit its throat and kicked its corpse down the hill. It was really the most merciful choice. Thus they arrived in Tilverton, for more fun and games, and by that I mean trouble. I mean come on, we’ve come to expect trouble from the crows haven’t we?

This is no time to worry about armor!

The climb up Gnoll Pass is a stressful one. Up and up the baren stone path winds, whipped by wind with a few brambles and vines. Each night is restless and tense, as the party expects attack. However worried they are, they don’t run into anything, although they see plenty of tracks from wolves. Seeking shelter, they find a cave, but when they find out that it goes back farther than any of them care to explore, they decide to seal the entrance with a hefty rock and go about their way. At last they reach the summit of the climb, to the narrow pass where so much danger awaits. The party sets up camp, again in a magical shelter made by Darella with her druidic powers. They settle down and go to sleep.

In the second watch of the night, Bellamin Alert-Eyes proves his name. For he is out in the mountain side scouting the area when his alert-eyes spot a group of four seven foot, heavily armed gnolls approaching the sleeping camp. With assassin-like skill, he dispatches the first one without the other three realizing it, then before any of them can do roll call, he leaps upon the next gnoll, screaming at the top of his lungs. The party is wakened by this awful racket, as are the gnolls. Darella, Shea, Eddie, Al, and Janella all begin to don their armor as quickly as they can. Tyllas stands up essentially in his skivies, grabs his sword, and charges out of the shelter with a loud cry and a powerful swing of his longsword aimed at the nearest Gnoll. For the rest of the battle, Tyllas proceeds to fan the gnolls with his sword, keeping them cool as they nearly kill all of the party. Things are not going well for Bellamin. The gnoll that he attacked as begun to eat him alive as he hangs by his sword off the beasts chest. Darella charges out, scimitar swinging, at one of the pike-wielding gnolls, only to be stabbed with the tip of its spear. Janella runs out and begins to attack a gnoll with her mace, and quickly finds out that she is nearly untouchable to the large oafs due to her small size and squirrelly nature. The thief and the cleric, after spending the most time donning their armor, run off and hide, but Upon seeing their halfling comrade being eaten alive, turn back and try to save him. Al is able to rescue Bellamin from the clutches of death, but Eddie nearly pays with his life. One by one the gnolls die. Shea Milkweed is able to claim two kills that night, her longsword and her dice rolls both landing true and bringing about the death of her foes in short order.

Finally the gnolls are dead, but Tyllas shows a somewhat bloodthirsty berserk nature by violently mutilating the gnoll he spent the entire battle fanning, cutting and goring the dead gnoll until he is able to extract its spine (coccyx and all). The party regroups and prepares for a long march out of gnoll pass, and so they heal up as best they can, and prepare to go forward. What awaits them over the rise of that hill is a fantastic view of the stone lands. A vast brown land littered with colossal monoliths that seem to have been hurled down to Toril by the gods above. They even swear they can see dinosaurs moving in the distance. What adventures await in the stone lands? Will the party survive? What happened to the spell cast on Janella? Why in the hell are their dinosaurs? The answers to at least one of these questions on the next exciting adventure!


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